Remote Helpdesk 1 and Computer Man Website Design Are Giving...

Tis the season for giving and Remote Helpdesk 1 and Computerman Website Design and Promotion are giving you our valued readers and clients the opportunity to win a Christmas Gift each week through the end of the year.

(would credit pic, but don't know artist)

The winner each week will be determined by a random drawing each Sunday and notified by E-mail. There will also be an announcement of the winner in our Monday Blog. Winners will also be posted at http://remotehelpdesk1.com and http://computermanwebsitedesign.bravehost.com

The first drawing will be this Sunday, December 2nd, 2007, for

Saitek R100 Sports Wheel And Pedals Set

So, get your name in the pot now!

Register Now

Winners will have until the Friday immediately following the drawing to verify their E-Mail Notice of Award and claim their gift. If it has not been claimed by Midnight, Friday it will be returned to stock, and that week's gift will be voided. Receipt will be determined by the time stamp of receipt by computer man's remote help desk servers.

Winners are responsible for any and all state, local, federal and import taxes, fees, and/or duty if any.

Good luck and Merry Christmas.

//s// tennessee mountain man, remote helpdesk 1, and computer man website design and promotion

In The Year 2020

At various times in man's history all human kind including the Computer Man have been bitten with the bug of a time warp, a space warp, and time travel. Sometimes it was to travel back in time in an attempt to change historical facts and outcomes one did not like. Other times it was a search for a mode of travel into the future in an effort to understand what the seers of earlier generations predicted and when and why such things should befall us.

So, wherever you stand, buckle your seatbelts if you are not a technophile. The Tennessee Mountain Man and Remote Helpdesk 1 are going to try to take you on a swift run through time to the year 2020. Admittedly it is not that far away and the glimpse at the future may not be as shocking as it would have been just seven short years ago at the turn of the century.

Dacomputerman recalls when Seagate introduced the first hard drive available to the general public in 1980 if you could afford it. At that time the best minds thought it was not possible to build a bigger one for micro computers.

The Seagate hard drive held all of 5 Mega Bytes of data! It had been beaten to the market seven years earlier by the Winchester which in 1973 had built a larger sealed hard drive boasting a 30MB capacity for commercial use. After all, who could or would ever need so much data storage capacity?

Each time a capacity milestone was breached, it was believed that it could not be surpassed. But alas we know the end of that story. Not only was mass storage capacity ever on the increase but accomplished on smaller and smaller hard drives. Unfortunately, we also know the engineers have been so obsessed with capacity that they have not made the necessary improvements in performance.

When I purchased my first 1.2 gigabyte hard drive I thought I had reached Heaven. I promised my wife no more expensive toys. I assured her I could never fill that hard drive. Now I run four (count them...four) 500 GB hard drives on my desktop plus a USB external, and, yes, four of them are about 75 percent full. The "c" drive is about 50 percent of capacity. My laptop runs a 100 G with a 500 G USB external.

My wife has long since stopped believing I won't want, need or buy anything bigger, faster, newer. That is both comforting in that she is off my back and frightening as there are so many advances coming so swiftly that the old computerman could live long enough to spend a lot more money on these contraptions. They really are addictive, you know?

They are also scary. Scary mainly because of the less stable among us. Teenage and young adult males have traditionally been the threat then in the early 80s the law enforcement community noted that females were swiftly becoming more and more aggressive.

Then came the fundamentalist religious wars with Islamic Jihadist winning the recruiting war among the world's disenfranchised. Filled with hate they were soon using children and women to carry out their nefarious activities on unsuspecting and trusting civilians world wide.

The advances in physics, modern medicines, nuclear sciences, and computer capabilities have allowed them to strike from a safe distance while inflicting maximum damage. Today there is bird flu, suit case nukes, a deadly variation of the common cold, and a manual few have heard of first published in 1998 on bio-hacking and oriented towards those who gave us the computer virus.

Remote computer repair now fixes your computer over the internet. Just as easily a hacker can now destroy your data while you sleep or work or even while you watch helplessly. How long do you actually think it will be before they can do much worse? even things that can burn or explode your house or office? give you a dreaded disease? or kill you from a safe place half way around the world?

In July, 2000, Chris Oaks, in an article hosted by Wired dot com put it this way:

"The hardest trick could be to stay sane amid a snowstorm of paradigm shifts.

"People (being able) to learn throughout their lives is going to be absolutely crucial if we're going to keep abreast of this -- and keep our mental health," said Stanley Williams, director of the quantum structures research initiative at Hewlett-Packard Labs.

Watch for struggles with human identity as machines on the other end of the phone acquire the thinking and responsive capacity of the human brain. Be prepared for a time when your doctor will be able to map your personal genome as fast as he draws blood.

And as far as our darling computer is concerned -- well, you and your spanking new Pentium IV aren't so hot.

"I can safely say that the age of computing hasn't even begun yet," Williams said. "We're still playing around in essentially Stone Age times technologically." "

He continued, "In 2020, "our electronics will be 10,000 times as capable as they are today," Williams said."

Needless to say by the year 2020 there are things on the horizon that our grand and great grandchildren must face which makes our history with electronics and technology seem as little more than pablum, and that is where I am actually headed.

Someone has said, success is when preparation meets opportunity. With cloning and human organ purchases at hand, I wonder what we will call it when man's greed and his dark side meets technology? Next time...

Google's Shot Over The Bow

Chattanooga, TN

Burk Pendergrass The Tennessee Mountain Man

Ever notice how testy everyone is getting all of a sudden? Computer man included! Maybe it is the season of the year. Whatever it is, it reminds Remote Helpdesk 1 of the moods of King David as recorded in the Old Testament and the Torah.

My how a change in perishables like popularity affects people and businesses. Online computer repair techs have seen it all before, and counsels everyone to just settle down. Believe it or not, like it or not, the pendulum swings and what goes around comes around though certainly not as swiftly as we would sometimes like.

Having spent 13 years in the service of the United States, dacomputerman watched the government order crack downs on this and on that, and it lasted for awhile. It bites when a new offensive is launched. The saving grace is in the knowledge is that it will normally be short lived.

Such moves are like news...tomorrow it is not. Something else happens. The wheel turns and life moves on. The new action or inaction is suddenly what is in vogue.

As an example, The small town police department gets the fever and announces a crack down on speed, or seat belts, or whatever and one seemingly cannot move without encountering a patrol officer short on his/her quota. Then suddenly the motorist realizes the pressure is off and he is cruising less nervously.

Whether a crack down by city hall, a new business in the community putting a temporary strain on more established firms, a sudden regulation infraction retribution and enforcement by the military, or Google tightening up standards they had been leaking warnings about for some time all things run the same course. And, as Bill W. taught us "this to shall pass".

It hurt the Tennessee Mountain Man just as it hurt most other folks when Google apparently decided there were just certain ways it was not willing to allow web masters to profit off it's back. But the warnings had been around for a long time that buying and selling links could cost you dearly in Google's page rank scheme.

One of Computer Man's sites which had never dreamed of using a link farm or of buying links went from a page rank of 8 to 0 over night. That smarts, and it cost us some links. Our page rank has started coming back. Thank you. But that was not the hardest website hit. One site was actually seen reduced to -1. The only minus rating we have ever seen. There may be others out there, but Computerman has not seen them.

Computer Man's Website Design and Promotion management said it had a problem with Google setting up a snitch program like a drug task force and encouraging web masters to report one another on mere suspicion. This is not federal law, violation of the 10 Commandments, possession of crack cocaine, or manufacture and distribution of the highly addictive and deadly meth. Such action leads to jealous people creating problems for their competition simply because they can.

Now, if Google or anyone else on the web wishes to remove another from their directories, list, links or anything else they have that right. But, they should say what they are actually practicing..."I did it because I wanted to....I did it because I can". Done pure, plain, and simple. Google founders and management, however, apparently prefer to run around all holy proclaiming, "do what is right", when in the China issue among others they proved what they meant was "do what is right for my bottom line".

Google has fired it's shot over the bow. Let the web masters who need and count on Google listings and page rankings adjust their websites to play by the new rules. Webmasters are used to the ever changing internet, and this is just a minor, temporary adjustment as Google continues to play with it's algorithm.

Google may have forgotten where they came from, forgot when they were only a list supplier to Yahoo, forgot how they got where they are. Today, however, they sit at the head of the table. Tomorrow they too will be supplanted.

A man climbing the flag pole will eventually get high enough that his friends, enemies and the indifferent see and take notice of him. If he keeps climbing, he soon enough gets high enough for all to see his ass and start taking shots at him, and many of them hit their mark.

Soon enough the rich and powerful forget they are not God, they just been playing Him for a short period of time on the short lived stage of life. Becoming complacent they fail to see or take seriously the arrival of the young raider and ignores his shot over the bow. What goes around has just come around.

//s// remote helpdesk 1

HILLARY! HILLARY! HILLARY!

Chattanooga, TN

Burk Pendergrass The Tennessee Mountain Man

Where should any self respecting Blog or article whether by remote computer repair, remote helpdesk, outsourced pc repair, online computer repair, or computer man start? Hillary is soooo far outside traditional American Statesmen like the 55th Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, Thomas Phillip "Tip" O'Neill, Jr., democrat, and the 35th President of The United States of America, John F. Kennedy, democrat, and America's contemporary needs she is laughable if she (Hillary) were not so serious...soooo dangerous!

Computer Man's brother, who shall remain nameless, is a dyed in the wool democrat and homosexual. Da computerman? I used to be republican until the republicans became democrats and the democrats became socialists. These days Computer Man is independent, more like Joe Lieberman. Anyway, the last time brother/sister/what-ever was seen he/she adamantly and proudly proclaimed "I am a mean, vindictive bitch just like Hillary...don't believe me?...cross me and find out".

Well the time is at hand when we start to think about a new leader for the free world...a President of the U.S...a Commander-N-Chief of the military. Neither the race nor the gender matters to Tennessee Mountain Man, but to get the nation (the world even) caught in the Clinton crosshairs again? I think not and I believe Kathleen Wiley, the secret service, and the military would agree.

Consider these:

Female Leaders Extraordinaire:

Golda Meir

Golda Meir גּוֹלְדָּה מֵאִיר جولدا مائير

"Golda Meir (Hebrew: גולדה מאיר‎, Arabic: جولدا مائير, born Golda Mabovitz, May 3, 1898 - December 8, 1978, known as Golda Meyerson from 1917-1956) was one of the founders of the State of Israel.

Meir served as the Minister of Labour, Foreign Minister, and then as the fourth Prime Minister of Israel from March 17, 1969 to June 3, 1974. As the BBC put it, Golda Meir was the "Iron Lady" of Israeli politics years before the epithet was coined for Margaret Thatcher.^[1] David Ben-Gurion, the nation's first Prime Minister, once described her as "the only man in the Cabinet." She was Israel's first (and, to date, only) female Prime Minister, and was the third female Prime Minister in the world"

Margaret Thatcher

Champion of free minds and markets, she helped topple the welfare state and make the world safer for capitalism

Benazir Bhutto

"Bhutto went into self-imposed exile in Dubai in 1998, where she remained until she returned to Pakistan on October 18, 2007, after reaching an understanding with General Musharraf by which she was granted amnesty and all corruption charges were withdrawn."

Dr. Condoleezza Rice

"Dr. Condoleezza Rice became the Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs, commonly referred to as the National Security Advisor, on January 22, 2001.

In June 1999, she completed a six year tenure as Stanford University 's Provost, during which she was the institution's chief budget and academic officer. As Provost she was responsible for a $1.5 billion annual budget and the academic program involving 1,400 faculty members and 14,000 students.

As professor of political science, Dr. Rice has been on the Stanford faculty since 1981 and has won two of the highest teaching honors -- the 1984 Walter J. Gores Award for Excellence in Teaching and the 1993 School of Humanities and Sciences Dean's Award for Distinguished Teaching."

Hillary Rodham Clinton?!

Now, honestly, tell me Hillary Rodham Clinton, the purveyor of lost documents and friend of her security advisor Sandy Burger, belongs in that distinguished company!?

"KATHLEEN Willey, who claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the Oval Office in 1993, says he and his senator wife, Hillary, are up to more dirty tricks. Willey tells World Net Daily she was recently the target of a burglar who broke into her house and swiped a manuscript of her new book, which contains revelations that could supposedly damage Hillary's presidential bid. "Here we go again," Willey told WND. "It scared me to death. It's an awful feeling to know you're sound asleep upstairs and someone is downstairs." "Target: Caught in the Crosshairs of Bill and Hillary Clinton" will hit stores in November. A rep for the Clintons had no comment."

Are you kidding? Hillary Clinton should not even be mentioned in the same breath as Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Benazir Bhutto, or Condoleezza Rice or Kathleen Willey for that matter !!!!!!!

Hillary just does not measure up to Female World Leaders who were and are Presidents, Heads of State, or Premier Ministers. Compare for yourself at WORLDWIDE GUIDE TO WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP.

People are soooo tired of the Bush Dynasty at the close of 2007! Can you imagine the degradation of America in a Clinton (2 for the price of one) Dynasty?!

tmm

Gas Ain't Gitin' No Cheaper

Chattanooga, TN

Burk Pendergrass The Tennessee Mountain Man

Gas Ain't Gitin' No Cheaper

The Tennessee Mountain Man watches in horror as crude oil prices keep slipping in and out of record highs on it's way to over $100.00 a barrel. Irrespective of where the crude oil prices go the political powers want you and I to pay a minimum of $5.00 a gallon for regular grade unleaded fuel, and they will not stop until they accomplish their goals.

They really want us walking and/or riding non-powered bikes (for our own health don't you understand) while they cruise around in their SUV's and private air planes powered by monstrous twin jet engines lest they loose speaking fees.

Don't they know or care that fuel costs translate directly to customer costs for almost every consumable in the world? The more it cost you to get to dacomputerman shop or the computer man to get to you, the higher the cost of computer repair period!

When online computer repair trucks used to run all week on $10.00 worth of gasoline and now remote computer helpdesk 1 must spend over $10.00 per day on fuel; customers and computer man's techs both are spending waaaay too much just to get from one point to another before any computer repair or data recovery is even started.

Of course, there are things that help keep fuel cost down such as keeping your automobile properly tuned and your tires properly inflated while driving responsibly. But, alas, they only help so much.

Granted (for now at least) fuel cost less in the U.S. than some other corners of the world, but when computer man first spent two bits for a gallon of gas on top of Sand Mountain in Jackson County, Alabama, today's greedy bastards just burn his #@*&!

Sorry but the Tennessee Mountain Man is just an old college educated idiot who can't help but believe that we could be doing a lot better. In the internet age when remote computer repair is available and outsourced it services are 50 percent more efficient than an in house helpdesk physicists must be able to do better...a lot better. We have engineers that have improved everything else, but fuel efficiency eludes them! P-L-E-A-S-E !!!!!

Here are a few options, da computerman has found. I am going to save the best for last so don't bug out on me now.

1. Automobiles are built more cheaply with less costly parts than ever before. Then they are sold at outrageous profit margins because they are so efficient.?!

Tennessee Computer Man has not looked forward to the new car models arriving in the showroom since 1968, about ten years before losing interest in the Cumberland Valley Shows arriving at the county fairgrounds.

2. There are semi-electric cars and hybrid SUVs that keep us coming back for unfulfilled promises.

I don't know about anyone else, but for da computerman the thought of having to buy a car rates right up there with the thought of going to the dentist.

3. Rip offs by unscrupulous businessmen has brought us pills and powders which do little if anything to help with fuel cost, but they sure can lighten a wallet over and over again..

4. There is the MLM 4-E Corporation, Ethos Fuel Re-formulator 3-in-1 Product which claims:

Save fuel & oil
Reduce engine wear
Reduce emissions

With Ethos Fuel Re-formulator you will Save fuel, Save Oil, and Save on Wear and Tear to your engine! Make it run smoother, cleaner and with more power with our custom ester blend that is completely non-toxic. Cost: of course, you can order it as low as $100.00 a gallon....makes gasoline sound cheap to ye old computerman's remote helpdesk!

5. The Motley Fool says there is only way to reduce costs, and we refuse to take it.NOTE: Did you know that you can convert your car in minutes to a water-running car? You can do it yourself, and you can do it for under $100.00!

But that is like the folk who are always seeking instant riches on the internet. Some people promise to sell you the formula and they make good money talking around it when they could just give it away. Why? It requires work!

It cannot be done in two hours a day let alone the half hour they promote and people are simply too lazy to perform the steps required to achieve their goals.

Instant oat meal, instant grits, instant coffee, and instant everything else has left a generation too spoiled to succeed.

For instance what if I told you, "you can have your Blog indexed on the major internet search engines within two days, but you have to do some things"?

Or, what if I told you, "your car will run primarily on water, but you have to make some changes which most anyone can do him or herself with parts available at wally world"?

Both statements are true by the way.

6. What if we weaned ourselves and our vehicles from foreign oil and still traveled cheaper...much cheaper...when and how and where and in what we pleased? Impossible? Not at all!!! Stop burning gas and start burning water.

Don't pull the plug, at least check it out.

How much are you paying for gas? What if you could cut that in at least half with a one time cost of about $100.00USD?

How much would that save you each week? How long would it take you to recover that $100.00 investment?

Would that help you with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Holidays and their intrinsic expenses which are now at your door?

Click Here!

tmm

Why Change To Windows Vista: Part 4 of 4

Chattanooga, TN

Burk Pendergrass The Tennessee Mountain Man

Why Change To Windows Vista: Part 4 of 4

Why Change To Windows Vista: Part 4 of 4

It is the opinion of the Tennessee Mountain Man that in the final analysis, most people and businesses would be better served to stay with whatever operating system they currently run assuming the have not already "upgraded" to Windows Vista. Obviously remote online computer repair is not impressed.

MS#76. "Because all the relatives want a copy of that special shot"

Some things are just so simple, true and obvious that remote online computer repair helpdesk cannot argue with them.

MS#77. " Capture a moment in an instant. Now release it just as quickly"

O.K. The more things change, the more they stay the same....especially with Microsoft.

MS#78. "Because you've got more ways to take your music with you wherever you go"

Not new...just new designs, increased size, and improved access times.

MS#79. "Let your music collection grow with you"

Load up on Gerber's? What?

MS#80. "Because you're a media master"

Computerman is master of nothing, dacomputerman is married! Computer man runs nothing but his mouth.

Watch the disclaimer Microsoft snuck in on this baby!

MS#81. "Because it makes your TV smarter"

Tennessee Mountain Man has been watching TV since before the Amos and Andy Show (sorry kids, don't worry about it), and while TVs have gotten smaller and their screens larger and colorful they have not gotten smarter.

In fact, the case can be made they have been really dumbed down since the Huntley and Brinkley Report (I know I did it again). They need something to make them smarter, but this is decidedly not it.

MS#82. "Presenting your new home entertainment hub: your PC"

Could be, I suppose. But, really...online computer repair has more important uses for computers than to be used as expensive hubs and switches and pleasure routers.

MS#83. "It makes your desktop come alive"

What did I do with number for Ghost Busters? I don't need it? What I don't need is something to eat up more memory on an already exceedingly slow operating system.

Better load up on that USB RAM.

MS#84. "Sit back, relax, and pass the remote"

And, use it on the equipment it was made for not the computer.

MS#85. "Your PC can be multilingual"

Sounds like Windows XP to dacomputerman.

MS#86. "Archive your media library"

Back up....back up...back up. Haven't we covered that a few times already?

MS#87. "Play the hottest new games"

On XP if you don't want to spend the money to move on...which Microsoft plans to eventually try to force you to do so.

MS#88. "Take your game beyond the next level"

Can you say "Treckie"?

MS#89. "Take your games to go"

Sorry, the first thing that comes to mind is the miffed child taking his ball and stumping home.

You can do nothing here that you could not do before.

MS#90 "Check your e-mail without booting up your PC"

Remember this: "Some product features are only available in certain editions of Windows Vista and may require advanced or additional hardware"?

That's right it haunts these halls like a bad dream you can't escape. Caveat emptor is the rule for Windows Vista more than any other operating system released to date by Microsoft.

MS#91. "Take your fun with you"

There is plenty of free online back up and storage accessible from anyplace with a computer connection.

MS#92. "Showing is more powerful than telling"

Yes, I am afraid it is all down hill from this point. Like remote online helpdesk 1 said before, it does not appear Microsoft has bumped into an original though since Win 95 and Win NT...if then.

MS#93. "Work your own way"

Since Microsoft could not or at least did not produce anything new here maybe they could do like The Tennessee Mountain Man (da computerman has been diagnosed with CHF and Colon Cancer) and leave a request that "I Did It My Way" be sung at their funeral.

MS#94. "Because you want your wireless connection to be more secure"

Good Luck! Someday...maybe

MS#95. "Take network files and folders with you"

Déjà vu

MS#96. "Access your desktop wherever you go"

Oh, this is sooo coool, soooo neeeew, we have only been using it a few years now.

MS#97. "Because your business doesn't need more than one scanner"

schhhhhhh! It's toooooooo easy.....let it lie.

MS#98. "Make your presentations more professional"

Like Microsoft's reasoning?

MS#99. "Because you get more out of information when you share it"

Then why has Microsoft always fought sharing everything?

MS#100. "Because your network is the backbone of your business"

Alright. Sure it is true, but it still doesn't change anything!

tmm

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Why Change To Windows Vista: Part 3 of 4

Chattanooga, TN

Burk Pendergrass The Tennessee Mountain Man

Why Change To Windows Vista: Part 3 of 4

We are almost there, this is part 3 of 4. Actually it has somewhat more meat than Part 2, but once again starts trailing off towards the last few reasons covered by the Tennessee Mountain Man today. Computer man can't help but wonder if a third grader actually did prepare Microsoft's reasons to smile or upgrade to Vista.

Enjoy.

MS#51. "Because you live to play"

The Tennessee Mountain Man actually wishes Microsoft had this one right for the average American. But, alas Americans play less than the citizenry of most other countries. Outsourced computer repair techs, unlike the money moguls at Microsoft, recognizes it now takes two people working not only full time but over time to feed and clothe the family.

"Because we love to play", may have been more accurate; but living to play? Americans have long proven their propensity to live to work unfortunately.

Remote helpdesk 1 is the proof in the pudding! Who has time for computer games? As to whether Windows Vista makes the games easier, faster, more fun....give me a break.

MS#52. " Take control of game time"

Kudos !! Now....Back to work you slackers!!!!!!!!!!!

MS#53. "Because you can get more done when you work together"

Microsoft's brain storming appears to have found great and long followed general rules for success in any endeavor. "The house divided against itself cannot stand". Mutual cooperation on the job, in sports, or in family affairs goes a long way.

As to inviting people to work with you on projects over the Internet, a company network, or an ad-hoc wireless network....We have been doing that for years... long before Windows XP was corrupted to come up with the many Windows Vista versions simply to enrich Microsoft coffers.

MS#54. "Stay entertained wherever you go"

Bill Gates and Microsoft actually believe they have us so indoctrinated that we cannot entertain ourselves without them and a computer. Wrong!!! Da Computer man can still shoot basketball, toss a football, ride a horse, play horse shoes, swim, boat, fish, hunt...sorry I got a little carried away. More folks do need to re-learn how to entertain themselves and break away from all the electronic gadgetry.

Some of Microsoft's reasoning, however, reminds old online computer repair geezers like the Tennessee Mountain Man of some of the motel ads on TV. Come On!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Online helpdesk would have never thought of that little trick before Vista and without the help of Bill Gates! "We'll leave the light on for you." N E X T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MS#55. "Because success tomorrow starts today"

Amen!!!!! Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but P L E A S E get a life. Hopefully not after Microsoft's blueprint.

The rest of this reason, like most of their reasoning, appears to be little more than someone "making work" or needing to fill newspaper space. Speaking of needing to get a life!

MS#56. "Print what you see"

Hogwash!!!! Unlike the rest of mankind, apparently Microsoft never heard of Windows 3 or the "print screen" command.

MS#57. "Because you don't need a PC to watch your home movies"

Really? Can you say Kodak? How about Polaroid? Well, don't! Outsourced it services still needs the online pc repair work.

MS#58. "Fill your home with music"

Yes, please! Music soothes the savage beast! Maybe Microsoft needs something besides elevator music, however.

We used to do that with a radio which had a red light that burned when the radio was on. As a lad the Tennessee Mountain Man used to set for hours with an eye glued to that light watching radio shows. Those were the days!!!

Dacomputerman knows all about that! That was all before WMP 11 and Microsoft's control over his entertainment choices.

MS#59. "Make a masterpiece"

"Blend your photos and home videos into a rich movie experience, complete with soundtrack, titles and credits, and creative transitions."

So Microsoft can report you! You do know, they know what you had for dinner last evening and whether you skipped breakfast this morning, don't you? Listen....sounds like they are the phone with an artist formerly known as Prince now.

MS#60. "Because you want your video memories to stay true to life"

"Windows Movie Maker lets you retain high-definition quality as you capture, edit, and publish movies from your HD camcorder."

The remote computer repair folks told me this is "déjà vu all over again". Dacomputerman thought he was just getting old and senile.

Oh, and don't forget this little ditty: "Some product features are only available in certain editions of Windows Vista and may require advanced or additional hardware".

MS#61. "Stand strong against hackers"

"The easy-to-use Windows Firewall with Advanced Security provides advanced protection to help shield you and your PC from malicious attacks."

Come on...come on! Stop laughing and get back to work.

MS#62. "Because it remembers what you like to do—and helps you do it faster"

Please refer to MS#59 above! Then go immediately to the Prefetch File located in C:\\Windows and dump it's contents. Do this daily and note the improvement in OS response time.

MS#63. "Help is always available"

By now most people have learned to avoid the helpdesk of major computer companies including Microsoft...maybe especially Microsoft and certainly especially if your first language is English.

Fortunately also most people ignore the recommendation in this reasoning. Otherwise a lot of us would be out of business.

MS#64. "Keep your files confidential"

Can you say, déjà vu once again? Swamp land, anyone? anyone? how about a bridge?

MS#65 "Send a fax on the spot"

"Windows Fax and Scan makes sending and receiving faxes directly from your PC as simple as using e-mail. With fax templates linked to your address book, it's easy to retrieve a fax number, attach your documents, and just click to send."

Kudos!!!!!! someone caught sleeping?!

MS#66. "Because everyone goofs sometimes"

Never heard of restore points before Vista ,huh?

MS#67. "Because e-mail is your lifeline"

"He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword".

MS#68. "Stay on top of your family's schedule"

The old magnet on the refrigerator didn't work, I doubt this will. But maybe it will work better for you than for the old computer man at online remote computer repair.

MS#69. "Because you want the quality of your printouts to match the quality of your work"

O.K. Kudos!!!!!!!!

MS#70. "Your PC is ready when you are"

So is your significant other!! Right. Just keep the aspirin or WD40, as the case may be, handy...headaches do happen! And, don't miss the standard little caveat at the end of Gates' reasoning.

MS#71. "Keep your favorite things at your fingertips"

Favorite things have nothing to do with computers or Windows Vista.

Please excuse the computer man while he day dreams a bit. Favorite things...O.K...no..no..unmentionable. So move on to Meerschaum pipe, BCA smoking tobacco, Scotch, T Bone, Lobster....alright...alright...moving along.

MS#72. "Get the latest news delivered right to your desktop"

schhhhhhh! Please don't tell Microsoft that these news tickers have been around forever.

MS#73. "Because your photos and home movies don't have to be stuck in your PC anymore"

ho! hum!!

MS#74. "Because your memories need a little mood music"

How many times and ways can we say, déjà vu?

MS#75. "Because you want professional-looking photos from your own printer"

Perhaps the question should be, How many times can you take, déjà vu? Sorry Microsoft never pondered that quandrum.

tmm

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